Articles
All articles are written by and copyrighted by Tom Tollefson
It's Time to be "BOSTON STRONG!"
By Tom Tollefson
Not since the Boston Massacre over 200 years ago has the Boston community been rocked with a tragic event that left the entire community saddened and enraged. Less than two weeks ago, the Boston Marathon was rocked with a smoky scene of tragedy left by two young bombers.
The images of the smoke, the screaming, the explosions, and the victims left lying bloodied with burns and lost limbs. All major news stations played the clips repeatedly to the point where many of us were haunted by the horrors. The news continued to flood our tvs, computers, and phones with more updates along the way as the police hunted down the two suspects.
Now after all is said and done, we as Americans can take a deep breath and take a chance to process what has happened. With three dead and over 200 injured in the latest crime of terror, hundreds of lives have been touched. Not just the family of the injured, but those who were on Boylston Street and saw the horror unfold before them.
Boston Marathon runner Jack Danhof said he was never so glad to see his family after the race. His family saw one of the explosions first hand, standing directly across the street from where it occurred.
In the midst of the emotional flood of rage and sadness, there is a positive light gleaming along the silver lining of this event.
Hundreds and thousands of New Englanders have flocked to blood banks and donated blood to the point where the Red Cross is having to turn people away because of having more blood than they can store. Many of the uninjured marathon runners ran to the hospital to donate blood.
Thousands of other New Englanders have donated their time and money to help the bombing victims. People everywhere in the US have come to know Boston as an enduring community with those two powerful words “Boston Strong” going across conversations, billboards, and computer screens all around the nation.
The nation as a whole has pulled it together to support Boston. Famed singer Neil Diamond even made a personal appearance to perform the song “Sweet Caroline” between innings at Fenway Park. His hit song is always played at the stadium to which the crowd sings along. Even the Red Sox most heated rival, the New York Yankees showed support for Boston by playing “Sweet Caroline” in their own stadium.
New Englanders have come to be known as staying to themselves and Bostonians have fallen much under the same iron tough category as Philadelphians and New Yorkers. As the last weeks have unfolded, they have all come out of their shells to help one another, even strangers. It's shown a positive side to those living in one of America's coldest regions. They are living up to their “hardy New Englanders” nick name. But they are being “hardy” together. They are “Boston Strong.”
Everett, Massachusetts native 78-year-old Bill Iffrig (who now lives in Lake Stevens, Washington) exemplified this strength. The bombs went off just as Effrig was coming within 15 feet of the finish line. The blast occurred just as he was passing, and the shock wave of the explosion drove him into the ground. In a moment well covered by over 2,000 media outlets around the country, Iffrig got up and finished the race. He remained unscathed by the blast, but admitted to being dazed for a minute after hitting the ground.
President Barack Obama puts it all into perspective in his speech at the interfaith ceremony. “Like Bill Iffrig...the runner in the orange tank-top who we all saw get knocked down by the blast, we may be momentarily knocked off our feet, but we'll pick ourselves up."
Then there is the 32-year-old professional dancer Adrianne Haslet. The young dancer had been standing on the side near the finish line with her husband when the bombs went off, leaving her left foot damaged beyond repair. After getting a prosthetic foot, Haslet plans to not only return to dancing after her rehab, but run and finish the Boston Marathon.
"I absolutely want to dance again and I also want to run the marathon next year. I will crawl across the finish line, literally crawl, if it means I finish it,” Haslet said in an article that appeared in the Huffington Post.
Despite the tragedy, many runners from all over the country are planning on running in the Boston Marathon next year. Those who saw the horror of the race this year are all the more motivated to come back strong next year and run again. Many will run for a charity and for this year's victims. It's already being predicted to be one of the best years ever for the annual race.
That is where the true strength in America has always been found. It's not been our technology, our education, our military. It's been in our intangibles. You can't measure our spirit in numbers or budgets. It's the ability to get up after a disaster or set back, brush ourselves off, and keep going. We survived two world wars, the depression, 911, and countless terrorist threats, and we'll survive this latest disaster. We will because we're Americans and that's what we do. We don't cower in fear and quit. We unite and help each other up and continue life. That is what it means to be BOSTON STRONG.
Hope for Basketball in Louisville
Despite Ware's Injury
by Tom Tollefson
Horrifying, grotesque, stomach turning, pain beyond imagine, are all phrases fans and journalists have used to describe Kevin Ware's injury during the elite eight NCAA basketball game between Louisville and Duke. The Louisville point guard went up to contest a jump shot just as he had thousands of times over his life. Only this time when he came down his right leg broke in several places. Tears streamed down his team mates faces as they saw the horror unfold leaving Ware's broken tibia poking out through his skin.
Yes, it was a horrible event to transpire on one of the most rare freak accident's in March Madness history, but there was far more to the story than that.
After the injury and gut wrenching memory of their teammate screaming in pain, the Cardinals had a choice. They could let their sorrow and fear get the best of them or they could stand up strong and play their best and make Ware proud.
In an act of courage, Ware blocked out the pain long enough to look at his fellow teammates and comfort their tears with his words.
“I'll be ok, just win the game,” Ware said to his coach and team.
His team then set out to do just that. After ending the first half in a close battle with Duke, the Louisville Cardinals exploded into the second half for an 85-63 victory. Playing with an intensity that would even make Allen Iverson blush, they went on an emotional 17-2 run in the second half and never looked back. They provided a well played game filled with defense, effort, teamwork, passing, and plenty of elements that defines what the game of basketball is all about (Larry Brown would have been pleased if he was watching).
The players didn't just play for themselves. They played for their fallen teammate. Louisville Coach Rick Pitino reminded his team to win the game for Ware in every timeout. Their Final Four matchup against Michigan will be in Atlanta, Georgia, the home area of Ware. “Let's bring it home for Kevin,” was a common motivation he left his team with during every timeout throughout the game.
The game culminated with Louisville forward Chance Behanan proudly sporting Ware's jersey and pointing toward his number five.
This was more than just a big time tournament game. It was what sports should be all about: effort, passion, friendship, and team camaraderie. The love Ware's teammates had for him could be seen in the genuine tears they cried on national tv and in the loud chants of “Kevin” they made at the end of the game. This was real emotion, and it pushed a team to soar higher when they were distraught with grief.
Playing with value and honor and in unity to overcome adversity was a core focus in that game as well as many NCAA games I've seen. That's what it's all about! Many times, we as fans and athletes lose sight of that. We get caught up in the glitz and glam of the celebrity athlete status, the commercials, the shoe endorsements, the focus on individual scoring, the multi-million dollar contracts that we forget what makes sports great.
In a world filled with Hollywood hardwood hoop divas, it's nice to see that there is hope. This hope can be found in the triumph of the human spirit in the face of adversity. It's the hope that bands a team of individuals together to play with teamwork, self-sacrifice, heat, and passion. It's the glue that holds competition together and keeps the true fans watching with baited breath.
Let this game not leave us with a sore spot in our stomachs. Let it serve as a reminder of what sports is really all about. Without these values there is no such thing as sports.
My “Brother From Another Mother”
by Tom Tollefson
**I've written a lot about what it means to be either a positive friend or a negative, but today I want to write a real life concrete example of what it means to be a true friend.**
Shahin wasn't one of those kids who always stood out. He didn't make loud jokes in front of everyone. He wasn't the obnoxious or rebellious type either, drawing attention to himself at every opportunity. He surely wasn't the biggest or the strongest either. He was just Shahin. He blended in well with pretty much anyone and had a quiet way about himself. The only thing that stood out as a kid was that he was always willing to lend a hand. When you asked him to help you move or help you with your computer, he was there. I never had to worry rather Shahin would show up or come up with some fancy excuse about why you couldn't reach him after he had promised to show and left you stuck in front of the computer for hours, hopelessly trying to figure out why your internet was down. He might have an imperfect habit for being late (no one is perfect), but he always came through as dependability is his middle name. Everyone should lessons from these personal qualities.
Shahin has a lot of accomplishments in life for me to be proud that have resulted from his character. He's worked hard to start his career with a great engineering job and now owns a home of his own. Yet the reason I'm proudest of him is that he's a good person and a loyal friend who's always there for others. While my many of my other friends got caught up in drugs and alcohol among other negative things, Shahin stayed sober and substance free.
It all started nearly 16 years ago. It wasn't long after I moved in that I noticed a small Arabic kid trudging his way through the snow on his way home from school. He lived in the same building as I did so we commonly traded “hellos.” The first time I had a conversation with him was when I was talking to him about the snow fort myself and my other neighborhood friends were building. Slowly over time, him and I started running into each other more often, yet I never saw him out playing with the rest of us. I found out later that he spent most of his time inside watching his younger sister while his mother juggled a fast paced schedule of work and college. Then Shahin started coming out more. I coaxed him into going out with all of us and playing basketball, riding bikes, and coming to the neighborhood hang out at my apartment for video game marathons, or just catching the latest episodes of Spiderman and Batman. He was also there with me when I first started enjoying basketball, a game that I've had a passion for since those simple minded middle school days. Our games of one-on-one rivalry were fierce competitions that would only spur on my love for sports and competitive nature,
two of my defining qualities as a person. I would make a shot, then he would make one, or one of us would miss and the other would get the rebound and push all the harder to take an advantage for a score. It would go back and forth.
Then Shahin moved. At least his new home was only a few miles away, and we had our time after school. Every day he would stay at my house after school for a few hours until his mom picked him up. It was during that time that him and I grew really close. He went every where with my mom and I. If we had to go to a doctor's appointment or go shopping, Shahin came along too. His status as guest was fading as he slowly became an unofficial member of our family. To this day, my mom describes him as the “son she never had.” Many people would see us out and think he was my blood brother, just from a different father; a result of some mixed marriage I suppose. It didn't matter to me though. As far as I was concerned he was a brother.
Even through college Shahin and I stayed close. We went to different schools, but were local and always made time to catch up and check out the latest movie or go play basketball. When it came to holidays he was there too. Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, Easter, he was always there, even to every single birthday party.
Over the years, Shahin and I have always been able to count on each other. He was always there to listen when I needed to call and vent about problems with work, friends, girlfriends, or family. Often times, he didn't like the girls I dated and told me just that. I always appreciated his honesty, and years later, I realized that I should have listened to him. That's what good friends do, they tell you what's in your best interest even if you don't want to hear it.
Then came the day he moved. I will always say that was the biggest single day transition of my life. His last day in New Hampshire was the same day I went on my first day with my current girlfriend. Even across all the miles, Shahin and I kept close. He still comes home frequently and we still spend holidays together. Our video game marathons and basketball games continue.
Our friendship is one of the few things that hasn't changed in 16 years. I look over my list of friends over the years and its amazing how many people have come and gone. For a few months or a year or maybe two, their your closest allies and supports, then the next day their gone like the wind. They give no stability to your life. But its long standing friends like Shahin that help give you stability and keep you grounded. He's always been there through all my ups and downs. He celebrated all my accomplishments like high school and college graduation, and was also there for all those breakups, money problems, and health problems. He gave me encouragement when I needed it most and none of my other so-called “friends” were around. He didn't always have the answers or solutions I needed, but he was a listening ear. In return I've done all the same for him as much as I possibly could over the years as he did for me. Neither one of us are perfect, but we try to help each other become better people as we've grown up.
This is how friendship should be for everyone. Unfortunately, people don't value it anymore. I've seen in my life how true it is that many people go in and out of your life, but few stick around. Don't let those few special people drift from you. You know who they are, so keep them close. They are more valuable than gold or silver, they are true friends, and often times even become “family.”
Behind the “Haunting” of
America's Darkest Holiday
by Tom Tollefson
Stroll through Wal-Mart, Target, or any other big name retail store, and you'll be sure to see entire aisles flooded with witches, ghosts, vampires, and pumpkins. It can only mean one thing; it's time for Halloween again.
This frightful treat filled season has taken over October with a holiday culture of its own, much like Thanksgiving and Christmas. But what's Halloween about anyway? And what do all these symbols really mean?
Black cats, ghosts, witches, haunted houses, graveyards, vampires, and mummies are all the icons of the Halloween season proudly displayed in decorations all over the world. But what do all these symbols have in common? The answer is quite simply, darkness and death. Darkness in most any culture has almost universally been a metaphor for evil. Not everyone thinks of it that way, but that is what it's all about. It's been made into more of a family friendly holiday with cute children dressing up as little ghosts, fictional characters, pumpkins, celebrities, and princesses, while doting parents take them out to “trick or treat.” Seems innocent enough right?
The fact is that the elements of darkness are still there. Behind this mask of Halloween's armies of adorable children are traditions and rituals with dark pagan roots going back many centuries when it was called All Hallows Eve. On this day, an ancient cult known as the Druids (a group found in Ireland, France, and England) celebrated the feast of Samhain. This feast was held at the end of the summer in celebration of the Celtic gods, which were similar to the deities worshipped by the Greeks and Romans. They feared many of these dead spirits and would often sacrifice food, animals, and even humans to the dead souls in hopes that they would leave without causing any harm. They would also make these sacrifices to their gods in hopes they would protect them from evil. Many of our Halloween traditions symbols today originated from these pagan customs.
For example, according to the World Book Encyclopedia, the jack-o-lantern comes from a myth about a man named Jack. This person was too evil to enter hell and was then cursed to walk the earth with a lantern. The World Book Encylcopedia also notes that black cats, another iconic symbol of Halloween, have similar roots in paganism. Black cats, the sacred cats of the druids, were thought to have been humans who had been changed into cats for their evil deeds.
Nicholas Rogers summarizes Halloween’s origins quite clearly in his book Halloween: From Pagan Ritual to Party Night. “It was a period of supernatural intensity, when the forces of darkness and decay were said to be abroad, spilling out from the sidh, the ancient mounds or burrows of countryside. To ward off the spirits the Irish build huge symbolically regenerative bonfires and invoked the help of the gods through animal and perhaps even human sacrifice.”
Today, America has prettied this holiday up and packaged it with cute children, candy, and covered its dark secrets with chocolate and caramel as easily as you would cover a candy apple. And what a package it is, perfectly marketed towards a price tag worth billions in annual retails sales.
According to an article in the Chicago Tribune, the U.S. spent over $5.8 billion on Halloween in 2009. Our culture is the one to get the credit for this retail success. Businesses from every square mile of the U.S. have launched successful marketing campaigns that have taken advantage of the wide market in what has become a “family friendly” holiday. You can buy everything from Halloween costumes, candy, decorations, and even cards. It's no longer as much about the dead spirits, but focuses on candy, parties, and of course those kids that are “so darn cute.” Even though some are dressed up as Dracula, a real life person who was in reality a mass murderer, but still people say it's all in fun and the kids get candy so they're happy too.
For many, it’s a wonderful day. It leaves decorations across many of our nations offices and homes and fills the stomachs of our children with sweet satisfying sugary treats of every kind. But like I said, the roots of what started Halloween are still there today.
If the roots aren’t meaningful enough, then let’s just get back to the basic symbols. As I mentioned at the beginning of this article, even if you don’t see the roots of this holiday’s traditions, you need not go any further than the dark symbols to see its truth.
Please don't misunderstand what I'm saying. I don't mean that any portrayal of darkness is always bad. There are in fact many classic novels and movies filled with climatic battles between good and evil that keep you on the edge of your seat. My word of caution is against anything that celebrates evil or darkness it in any way, even if its the light heated merriment of those adorable tiny tots parading around as witches and vampires. Let’s all look at this evidence and take some time to think about what we are celebrating before we rush out to decorate our homes and offices.
We have enough darkness around us today. Wars, disease, poverty, death, don't we have enough darkness around us? Do we need to invite anymore into our lives or thoughts? More importantly, do we need to glorify it by dressing up as the characters who personify it or take on the customs of those pagan celebrations? Wouldn't it be better to spend our time glorifying all that is positive, kind, loving, and good in the world? That is why I enjoy holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving. When you think of those two holidays you think of peace, love, joy, family, all represented by bright colors, not dark colors or witches or vampires.
As the weather cools and our calendars are barraged by the holiday onslaught, take some time to think about what we celebrate and why. Let's focus on what is happy, peaceful, and joyous. After all, it's that what holidays are about.
A Little About My Writing
Copyright © 2010 Tom Tollefson
I thought this article would be good to introduce you to my style of literature. My poetry and prose is simple, yet elegant. I don’t fluff up my writing with words that you need a doctorate degree to understand or ramble in an unsure tone with hidden meanings that only a college level English professor can decipher.
I write in simple language spiced with elegant words that flow with a rhythm of sound bringing my scenes and descriptions to life for every reader. My metaphors, similes, themes, and stories are easily seen and most importantly felt by even the average reader. As far as themes, my poetry centers around reflections on the morals, spirituality, social aspects, and deeper meanings in our modern society. This appeals mostly to a younger audience, introducing them to the beauty of contemporary literature without all the extra “doctorate level fluff” that bores you into a coma.
I often use a tone that directly addresses the audience with phrases such as “you’re probably wondering why I’m saying this” or “don’t just sit there and shake your head, go make those changes.”
In conclusion, I go to say that my writing is fun, direct, and artistic. You can clearly see that in any of my writing. But don’t take my word for it, read over my literature and see for yourself as you feel my words come to live and bleed off the page.
Q and A With Tom: the Man Behind the Pen
Q: When did you First Start Writing?
A: I first started writing when I was about 7 years old. I think my first story was “The Lobsters From Outer Space.” It was quite creative and also accompanied by artwork from yours truly. I’ve always wanted to become a published writer since those early years. Then while I was in middle school and high school, I really became interested in English and writing.
Q: How far do you want to go with your writing?
A: I plan on making a career out of it. It’s something I’ve always loved and wanted to do. I plan on being on the New York Times Best Sellers’ list and want to write for magazines as well and also start having my poetry published nationally. Ideally, I want to either be a full time writer or teacher or both.
Q: Who’s your favorite writer?
A: I’d have to say that Tupac Shakur because he’s the one who inspired me to write poetry. I don’t condone everything he said and did, but he was an incredible poet. His poetry book is one of my favorites. He writes in simple, yet poetic language that every one can understand, and he always has a message or a point to his works.
Q: What is your favorite poem?
A: My favorite poem has to be “The Rose that Grew From Concrete” by Tupac Shakur. It’s a simple, yet rhtymatic and meaningful poem using the metaphor of a resilient rose to symbolize someone succeeding despite the obstacles against them. It’s very inspirational! It has inspired me to succeed in all aspects of my life. Next to my Bible, it’s one of the first things I read when I feel depressed or overwhelmed and need a jump start to get going again.
Q: What is your favorite book?
A:The Bibe is my favorite book, but after that it would have to be Kurt Warner’s autobiography “All Things Possible.” It’s the inspirational true life story about future NFL hall of fame quarterback Kurt Warner. The man went from stocking shelves in a grocery store to winning the Super Bowl. Amazing story about what the strength of faith and the human spirit can do!
Q: What is your message in your writing?
A: My message is one of hope. There is hope and possibility within the delusion of impossibility for a better day for our world. I don’t deny evil, and in fact, I write a lot about it. However, I believe we can overcome this evil with good, which is another aspect to my message. I’m an underdog in life, and that is who I write for…the underdog, the person who has had a hard life and is looking for that glimmer of hope in life. If you’re an underdog or just looking for a little bit of hope and literary perspective on society, then look no further than the rays of hope that I’m pouring out from my pen.
Q:What do you do for fun when you’re not writing?
A:Everybody who knows me, knows that I LOVE basketball. It’s a huge part of my life and has been since I was 13. I love everything about the game when it’s in its’ true form as a team sport built on hustle and hard work. Many of my poems are even inspired by basketball. I also enjoy spending time with my girlfriend, family, friends, listening to music, surfing the web, running, and working out.
What Women Really Want
-By Tom Tollefson
Hey everyone, I know I'll get a lot of HEAT for this article, but it's the first of many controversial articles I'll be posting, and while it sounds radical at first, just read it over and think about it, and you'll see my point. I also hope to publish it. If you know of any publications where I could get it published, please let me know. I started it a while ago, and it's long over due. Without further ado....here goes. Enjoy!!
The age old question of what do women want has been partially solved. I say partially, because all women are different in one way or another, and some may want different things. However, there is one thing that most women do want. Not all, but MOST women fall into this category. Get ready for this next statement because it will floor you guys out there, and anger a lot of you ladies. Women want to find a “bad boy” who in some way treat them poorly. Despite what the movies and media tell us, the worse a guy will treat them, the more they will want to be with them.
I don’t condone this course of action in any way. It’s a sad reality, and I am merely reporting my observation. You’re probably reading this thinking I’ve lost my mind, but think about it this way, haven’t you wondered why the guys with the most women usually neglect them, lie to them, and cheat on them? While on the other hand, you have the real good guys who truly love and care for women. These men are lucky to get one date a year let alone multiple dates or a relationship. This may not make sense, but it’s true. Women don’t normally think on terms that most would see as logical.
All the new programs to help teach guys success with women incorporate sarcastic comments, egotistical behavior, and ignoring women or making them feel as though they are worthless or not a priority. So called “women experts” have developed various programs that promise guys instant success with any women through creating this “attraction” through rude and arrogant comments. These tactics confirm the truth that women do want to be treated badly. Many women will deny that they like arrogant and rude guys, saying that they want a “nice” guy who will treat them right. However, they end up going after the guys who don’t treat them well. Their logic in this way of thinking is that the guys who are jerks to them and don’t give them attention are a challenge, and keep things “exciting” because of the constant conflict. The elevated sate of emotion in this constant conflict triggers the “love button” that causes this indescribable feeling of joy. Often times, they do this subconsciously without even realizing it. The guys who are kind, caring, and want to be with them are seen as too easy to date. They also believe that they can change the ways guys treat them. They believe they can change their neglectful and abusive behavior no matter how many times they fail. The truth is that they rarely, if ever succeed at this, and if their partner is abusive, they often end in the hospital.
One of the most common scenarios is the following: a guy meets a girl and develops feelings for her. He treats her well by buying her flowers, listening to her, and caring for her. She sees him as too easy to date, and too boring because of the lack of conflict (as I said, conflict causes the elevated emotional state) and restricts it to a friendship. When he asks for more, she often uses the phrase “I couldn’t see us being anything more,” “I’m not ready for a relationship right now,” and perhaps the oldest and widely used line “You’re not my type.” After a while, the girl meets another guy who neglects her, and is abusive toward her. She sees him as a challenge to date and to change his ways, and the conflict causes the high emotional state to kick in. After several rounds of “dating games” the two end up becoming a couple, and the “good” guy remains a friend. Whenever, the boyfriend of the girl cheats on her or abuses her, she goes to confide in her friend and tell him that she feels hurt, and wants to be with a “nice” guy. Yet when she gets hurt time and time again, she stays with the same guy. True, this is contradictory because she most likely has rejected all the guys who have any hint of real kindness in her life, but subconsciously she really wants to be with a jerk.
Granted this does not make sense, and shows how we are different from the mating habits of other creatures. For example, if a male pit bull tries to bite a female pit bull, instead of gaining her interest and luring her to mate with him; he’ll ignite a primal rage, and be lucky to leave without getting his head torn off. That’s just nature and how it works, but the socialization habits of people are quite different from the animal kingdom.
You may be reading this, and wondering what research I have to back this radical statement that women want to be with jerks. I don’t have a data base to back my opinion, but I have the experience in dating to back my opinion up. It was once stated that “a man with an argument is at the mercy with a man with an experience.”
Guys, if you don’t believe me, look at your own dating history, or the dating history of your friends. Don’t you notice a pattern? Ladies, if you don’t believe me, then look at your own dating past as well as the dating past of your friends. How many times have you been attracted to someone who treats you bad in any way? How many times have you rejected the good guys in your life? I’ll give one more scenario to the guys to prove my point. Have you ever met a girl and realized she wasn’t a good fit for you, then tried to get rid of her by not returning her calls and being rude? We’ve all had that happen. However, did you notice that the more you neglect her calls and are rude to her, the more she calls you and seeks you out with a greater interest? The light bulb should be clicking on about now.
Let’s now go to some real men to get the truth from their side. Our first subject is 26 and has not had a girl friend. He has asked to remain anonymous. However, he's not a drinker, smoker, drug addict, convict, and does not have a history of any kind of violent or abusive behavior. He also lives on his own in a very nice condo. On the surface, he seems like a every girl's dream. However, let's take a look at his approach to women.
"I act like a respectable guy, and play it as nice as I can really, and don't pester them too much with showing up where they work or calling them all the time,” he said, moving on to talk about the age old term of chivalry. “It's chivalry, holding the door open, pulliing out a seat. I try not to force it. Nothing derogatory, no vulgar remarks, just being a gentleman.”
Despite how much he might seem compatible with what women say they want, his success has been minimal in finding a mate. "It's frustrating because you don't get them taking any interest in you by being chivalrous,” our mystery man said.
Now, let's meet Shahin, another young man who hasn’t had much luck in the female area. This subject not only finished high school, but also is on his way to completing a chemical engineering degree and preparing to enter the world of work. He also has played a major role in raising his younger sister from the time he was around ten years old. Shahin is responsible, substance abuse free, and also doesn't have any history of violence or abuse. He’s another example of a good quality “chivalrous” guy.
“When they go for a jerk that cheats on them and they get feeling that they themselves aren’t good enough and are doing something wrong. It’s the psychology of it. They’re always trying to be better and better at something, and when a guy looks at another girl, or cheats on them they feel like they need to be better. It gives them a challenge that they think they have to compete against and make themselves better,” Shahin said when asked about his opinion of women and their real dating habits. “It’s natures law. Guys have a tendency to go for looks, while girls have a tendency to go for the guy that sounds the toughest, not really looks the toughest, but sounds the toughest. With everything pretty much commanded and demanding.”
Now, let’s take a look at the inside of a classic “bad boy.” For safety and security reasons, we’re going to leave this self described “player” anonymous, and only refer to him as Bruno. His history has included many one night stands, broken promises, and lies to get women into bed, as he believes women are little more than “toys.”
Bruno admits that many girls are welcoming to the “bad boy” approach. "Some girls go for the asshole things like picking random girls up and just being a jerk in public. They're just impressed by those cheap things for a little while." He was also kind enough to give us some insight as to the mind set of many man, who pose as “good” guys at first, then expose themselves for being just the opposite, and yet still keep the woman.
"Say they(women) like things like nice quiet dinners with their family. You show them that when you first meet them, then you just open them up, and once you’ve done that, you just take it from there,” Bruno said.
Several women were also interviewed about this subject, and they all gave the same answer citing that they are looking for a “nice guy.” Yet the majority of these women have a dating history that includes cheaters, criminals, drug dealers, and men living off other people with no ambition. These scenarios prove just how true and unfair the philosophy is that women go for the “bad boys” instead of the good guys. It may not make sense, but it’s the truth about women. However, as I said before not ALL women are the same, and there are a small percentage who truly do want a “good” guy. These women are truly sensible in every term of the word, and deserve what they want. Just as many women create in their minds the challenge of “changing” the bad boys, the “good” guys have the ongoing challenge of finding women who still desire the chivalrous qualities that seem all but dead in today’s world.
Ladies, you can change your way of thinking and find true love in more meaningful and long lasting ways. You don’t have to always end up in bad relationships with abuse, mistrust, anger, and mind games. Seek to live in good morals and truth by chosing mates who are worthy of your time and attention. You’re better than degrading yourself to their standards and being treated poorly.
My advice to all the “good” guys out there would be to wait for one of the few women who are not looking to be hurt or to play games. Believe it or not, they are still out there. Guys, when you find a woman of this worth, stay with her and treasure her more than gold.
Indeed, dating is now largely built on lies, mistrust, and manipulation, but just as in everything out there, there is hope. Hope for mates of good quality and compatibility. We just have to find the patience to find a good mate, while making our way through the weeds.
Reviews
Under this section, I'll post up reviews on various books, movies, television shows, and anything else you'd like to see. I welcome any suggestions of what you'd like to see reviewed. Email me at tollefsont83@yahoo.com.
The Last Air Bender: A Beginning to A Great Series
Copyright (c) Tom Tollefson 2010
Despite heavy scrutiny, I believe the movie “The Last Air Bender,” directed by Manoj Nelliyattu Shyamala, was enjoyable and worth the price of admission. Well known movie critic Roger Ebert was among the most notable critics taking turns throwing shots at the film. “ ‘’The Last Airbender’ is an agonizing experience in every category I can think of and others still waiting to be invented. The laws of chance suggest that something should have gone right. Not here. It puts a nail in the coffin of low-rent 3D, but it will need a lot more coffins than that,” Ebert said.
This movie sets up the first step in what could be a fulfilling movie saga. The plot of war among civilizations in a fictional earth setting, destiny of unassuming characters, and most of all the theme of magical powers give this movie a similar feel as Lord of the Rings and Chronicles of Narnia. The 3D graphics also really made the characters and action come alive in addition to the different forms of martial arts seen in the different element bending factions.
The Last Air Bender was based on the first season of the Nickelodeon animated series. The plot focuses on the conflict among the element benders. After a time a of peace among the four groups(fire, water, earth, and air benders), the fire benders, called Fire Nation, set out in pursuit of conquest of the other three benders. Cliff Curits playes Fire Lord Ozai, leader of the fire benders.
The only hope for peace now lies in the hands of young Aang (played by Noah Ringer), the Avatar and last bender, capable of manipulating all four elements. Along with his friends, Katara (played by Nicola Peltz) and her brother Sokka (played by Jackson Rathbone), the child prodigy sets out to fight against the power of Fire Nation, led by Fire Lord Ozai (played by Cliff Curtis).
This task will not be easy as Aang, still a boy must learn to use his power and advance his wisdom to fulfill his destiny by helping the other benders unify to defeat Fire Nation, restoring all to a path of peace once again.
The saga will continue and I look forward to the next installment.